Inside The Cart | Blog | Men Don’t Talk About This. Women Feel It Daily. But We All Do It

It’s Not the Mistake—It’s the Message You Send Yourself

Most people don’t realize how often they self-punish. Not with actions. But with words. Tiny, quiet, relentless words.

> Men often push those thoughts down, labelling them as weakness.
> Women often absorb them; carry them like proof they’ve failed again.

But what if we all stopped and asked:

“Would I talk to someone I love like this?”
“Would I let anyone else talk to my child like this?”

And if the answer is no, then why do you get spoken to that way?

Why Men Turn That Voice Inward—And Call It Strength

Most men were never taught to be gentle with themselves. Not as boys. Not as teens. Not even now.

They were taught to:
-Tough it out and get over it.
-Don’t cry. Don’t break. Don’t need.

So what happens when pain still shows up?
They turn it inward. They get angry at themselves. They punish through silence, sarcasm, and shutdown. Not because they’re heartless, but because they were taught that softness makes you weak. And so, the voice they use with themselves becomes sharp, cold, and impatient.

“You’re pathetic.”
“Get it together.”
“You’re acting like a damn child.”

This isn’t strength. It’s a survival strategy passed down like armor, generation after generation.

But that armor? It’s heavy.
And it rusts from the inside out.

Why Women Turn That Voice Inward—And Call It Responsibility

Most women were never taught to protect their energy. Not as girls. Not as teens. Not even now.

They were taught to:

-Be nice.
-Be helpful.
-Make sure everyone else is okay...even if you’re not.

So what happens when exhaustion shows up? 
They blame themselves. They carry the weight of everyone’s discomfort. They apologize for having needs. Not because they’re weak, but because they were taught that being “too much” is dangerous. And so, the voice they use with themselves becomes small, anxious, and overcorrecting.
“I should’ve known better.”
“I messed it all up again.”
“I always ruin the mood.”

This isn’t humility. It’s a quiet punishment system, built from years of emotional labor.

But that burden? It’s unfair. And it keeps women shrinking inside their own lives.

So What Do You Do?
You start small.
You start with awareness.

The next time that voice rises in your head—the sharp one, the one that rushes in to judge or scold—you pause.
You ask:
“Whose voice is that?”
“Would I say this to someone I love?”
“What do I need right now?”

That moment of pause? That’s the doorway. That’s where you stop the cycle and say,
“Not today.”

You don't need to replace it with fake positivity. You don't have to chant affirmations that don’t feel true yet. 

Just interrupt the cruelty.

Even if all you do is whisper:
“I’m doing my best.”
“That was hard, and I’m still here.”
“I get to be human today.”

That is where strength is reborn. Not in perfection. In permission. Try it once. Then maybe again tomorrow. This isn’t about being perfect.

It’s about finally choosing to be on your own side. Because the world will challenge you enough. You don’t have to join in.